


i don't need a xanny (to feel better)

by far2late



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Childhood Trauma, Children, Drug Use, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Fluff, Ghosts, Homelessness, Hurt/Comfort, Other, Parent Klaus Hargreeves, Past Drug Use, Sober Klaus Hargreeves, powers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:09:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25780366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/far2late/pseuds/far2late
Summary: "And he watched Klaus throw his life away for drugs that were only to silence him and the other ghosts, though they never truly worked on him. Not completely, anyway. Under the more heavy influences, it was hard for him to speak up properly, voice strained and lungs burning, even in the afterlife. Any other time and it was almost like he was still alive, save for walking through walls and siblings who couldn’t see him and one that hated the fact that he was able to.So, no, Ben did not think that his childhood was ideal, not in the slightest. Not with the Horror, or Reginald, or the second part of his life revolving around Klaus."orklaus and ben hargreeves, parents extraordinaire [take two]
Relationships: Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves & Original Male Character(s), Klaus Hargreeves & Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 13
Kudos: 202





	i don't need a xanny (to feel better)

When Ben dies, it’s the farthest thing from a peaceful way that anyone could die, not to be dramatic. 

The details of his death have long-since become something that barely sting anymore. Years of watching his siblings tear each other apart after the Horror tears Ben apart is something that he’s grown desensitized to. It was ironic, to him at least, that this was what had finally cleared the smoke in front of his eyes to realize how their father had pitted them against each other, from the moment they had been able to walk and talk past single words mumbled too quietly. 

Their entire childhood had seemed like a bad joke. Or a dehumanizing experiment, which was a far more accurate term. Ben’s was just broken up into two parts, to simplify it. One part where he had been an annoyance to his siblings as a whole and read at the dinner table as Klaus smoked behind him and Diego nicked away at the table with his knives and he could make fun of him for his comments when fighting criminals. 

That part of his life was vibrant, only marred by black and white and  _ red  _ when the Horror was forced to reveal itself. Ben was never a fan of his role in the family’s crime-fighting brigade, but the nights they snuck out to the cafe downtown and the sleepovers they had made up for that, for the most part. 

The second part of his life was desaturated, graying. It was empty chairs at tables and quiet nights and crying and wandering around his one tether to the human world, to his siblings and the family he loved so much only to realize they didn’t believe him. Ben’s childhood slipped away from him as he stared at siblings he couldn’t comfort, stared at Vanya’s he couldn’t wipe the tears off, at Allison’s who he couldn’t shush gently, at Luthor’s who he begged to stop tearing himself apart with Diego’s knives to no avail, to Diego’s that would go forlorn and ignore his desperate attempts to hold the other close. 

And he watched Klaus throw his life away for drugs that were only to silence him and the other ghosts, though they never truly worked on him. Not completely, anyway. Under the more heavy influences, it was hard for him to speak up properly, voice strained and lungs burning, even in the afterlife. Any other time and it was almost like he was still alive, save for walking through walls and siblings who couldn’t see him and one that hated the fact that he was able to. 

So, no, Ben did not think that his childhood was ideal, not in the slightest. Not with the Horror, or Reginald, or the second part of his life revolving around Klaus. 

The seventeen-year-old (Did ghosts age, really? He had been so far but it didn’t seem completely right to refer to himself as older when birthday’s had passed since he was dead) sighed as he walked alongside Klaus, feet dragging across the pavement lazily as he scraped the bottom of his shoes against the wall of the alley they wandered down. He watched, mostly uninterested, as Klaus made his way to his usual drug dealer. 

She was fairly pretty, in all honesty. Korean, too, so the cursing under her breath in her native language was amusing. Ben had made it no secret that he was passionate about learning in general, so he dedicated most of his free time at the Academy to learn his native language, in a misguided dream to one day find his mother, maybe his biological father. Or grow closer to his roots, he didn’t remember anymore. It came in handy for now, however. 

Isabelle was one of the more organized characters that happened upon Klaus, after all. She only really dealt with Klaus for Marijuana, most of it from a medical prescription she didn’t need anymore but kept because of insurance and a bit of extra cash for a rainy day. 

It was a vast improvement from Heroine off of a stranger in a bar after getting shit-faced drunk, so Ben certainly wasn’t going to complain about the circumstances, least of all with Klaus. If he did, there was a good chance that the teen would go against Ben’s word to spite him completely. Isabelle was… different, in a sense. Ben couldn’t really explain it, not with words anyway. There was some sort of tether that he felt towards her, unexplainable with proper words if he tried. She was around Klaus’ age, so maybe there was that, but he didn’t know how to explain it. 

When Isabelle spotted Klaus coming up, in a large fur coat that was insulating more than it was decorative for once, she seemed relieved, incredibly so. Maybe it was because the two hadn’t seen each other in a while, Ben wasn’t sure. It wasn’t like the two were particularly close, past the drug dealing and offering a place to crash now and then. 

“Izzy!” Klaus cheered, walking up to her as she stayed half-turned away from him, one shoulder digging into brick. “Amazing to see you again, it’s been what? A year?” He greeted, shoving his hands in his pockets lazily. Isabelle nodded slowly, blinking rapidly at the words as Klaus continued, digging into his pockets to look for some cash. 

  
Ben couldn’t help but step closer to Isabelle, taking advantage of his state to see if she was alright up close. Her eyes were glazed over slightly, and her cheeks were reddening in the cold as her eyelashes fluttered against pale cheeks rapidly, holding back emotion. Ben frowned at the state of her, turning back to Klaus to speak up before getting interrupted by the loud teenager. 

“You think you could give me a discount or something? My birthday was a week ago if that helps sway you a bit. Aaand, I can offer another type of favour-” Klaus was interrupted by Isabelle, who turned to face him fully as she spoke, stopping him in his tracks as he did so. 

“Klaus, I…” She couldn’t form the words, staring at him helplessly as she cradled a bundle of blankets close to her chest, along with a duffle bag pressed to her side. Klaus blinked, eyes widening as he did so and looking up to Isabelle’s face for a moment before leaning closer to the baby.    
  
“And who’s this bundle of joy?” He cooed slightly, not paying attention to the sharp intake of breath, eyes fixated on the baby’s large brown ones. 

“...Your son,” Isabelle said softly, Klaus’ eyes snapping up to meet her tear-filled ones, wider than Ben ever believed they could be. 

“ _ Mine _ ? Are you sure?” He asked, voice tinged with panic and going up an octave. Ben could see the stress on his shoulders at the mere implication that it might be true. Isabelle’s cheeks coloured slightly, nodding. 

“You’re the only one I’ve, um. Been with. Since I broke up with my ex,” She explained, voice retreating as she spoke. She sucked her lip in between her teeth before speaking up again, voice clearing. 

“I know this is a lot to ask, but,” Isabelle took a deep breath, Klaus interrupting her with still-widened eyes and a slightly shaky voice. 

“You can’t take care of him, can you?” He asked, more of a rhetorical question as Isabelle nodded a confirmation hesitantly. Klaus sighed shakily, running a hand through his hair as he rubbed his face. He slapped his face a couple of times for good measure before straightening up, rubbing at his eyes as he blinked towards her. “How old’s he?”

“About a week. I kept him with me as long as I could, but my parents wanted to come over from back home. See how I was doing, and I just…” She trailed off, Klaus nodding rapidly. 

“Nah, I get it. Parents are a bitch,” He chuckled humorlessly. “Do you- Are you keeping him? Or…?” 

Isabelle shrugged helplessly, bouncing the newborn lightly. “I thought you should meet him, at least once.” Her voice was contrite, and she sniffled quietly, shaking black hair away from her face as Klaus knawed at his lip nervously, glancing at the bundle in her arms. 

“I’m considered his… His legal guardian, aren’t I?” Isabelle nodded once, blinking rapidly once more. 

“Are you thinking about…?” She didn’t have to finish her question, noticing the way his eyes flit between her and the baby. “You’ll have to be sober.” 

Klaus shrugged once, ignoring Ben’s quiet cursing out of the corner of his eye as he spoke. 

“I guess I haven’t had a solid reason to try, till today.” 

… 

“I really hope you know what you’re getting yourself into, Klaus,” Ben warned Klaus again, the other cursing in French as he tried to climb out his window, backpack secured on his back and stuffed to the brim with clothes that were more for warming him than they were to attract attention, though he was sure that there were a couple of his favourite pieces buried under the winter-ready clothes. 

“Can you just-” Klaus grunted, kicking his wall slightly, “Leave me alone,  _ please _ ?” He begged, jerking his foot as he finally made his way out of the room, glancing back with his hands firmly planted on the windowsill as he realized he was about two stories too high to jump down safely. 

Klaus cursed again, looking around to catch sight of anything to help him get down, ignoring Ben once more as he mumbled under his breath and shook out his hair. He caught sight a gleam in the dark nearby and grinned suddenly, thanking Luther as he crowed silently. 

(When the group of them were about ten, still young, and still all together and tolerant of each other, the group of them had a contest to see who could throw their shoes up the highest with Five as a judge, watching from Klaus’ room to see the results firsthand. 

They never really found out who won, though. Luther had thrown a steel-toed boot a bit too hard and planted it into the tree they had been nestled under, shaking it slightly in the process, but wedging it so firmly that it wouldn’t shake out of the tree at all. It was just  _ stuck _ . 

Despite their best efforts, Mom had found out about the contest and the mess that Luther had made as well. He wasn’t sure how, since she didn’t go around to that side of the house at all, and neither did Reginald all that much, but she hadn’t said anything about it to the man. 

Klaus wasn’t sure how the man hadn’t noticed it, not at all. He would’ve thought that he would at least yell at someone about it, but he didn’t find it, nor did Reginald pry it out yet, but he certainly wasn’t complaining now.)

The teenager made his way to grab blindly at a large tree branch, getting a good grip on one as he wrapped more of his arm around it, grunting a little as he shook off his thoughts and summoned his academy training to swing himself over the branch and end up lying on top of it, stomach protected with a large woollen sweater he had worn under his jacket. 

He stuck his tongue out at Ben, who was now sitting cross-legged where Klaus had previously been hanging onto for dear life, watching the teen shimmy down and use the boot to hold up about half his weight, manoeuvring his way to the ground in an impressive show of and actual thoughtfulness. Ben would’ve been proud if it hadn’t been for what Klaus was planning on doing with this newfound lucid behaviour. 

  
  


With a sigh, Ben disappeared from the window sill to reappear by Klaus’ side, walking alongside the teen as he made his way around to hop over the fence, metal rusting where he had frequently used the path to run away before. 

“Do you know where you’re going to stay, at least?” Ben pushed, the other shooting him a lazy frown as he groaned dramatically. 

“If you  _ must  _ know,” Klaus stated, ignoring the passerby who had shot him a strange look as he spoke up, “There’s a motel downtown, about twenty-or-so minutes from that one bar. I’m staying there till I can, I dunno. Get more cash? A job?” Ben snorted a bit at the implication that Klaus would be the one to be responsible, shooting him an amused glance. 

“You  _ guess _ ?” How are you gonna get a good job when you’ve never worked a day in your life?” Ben said cynically, Klaus throwing his hands up in frustration. 

“I dunno! But the private tutors have to come in handy for  _ something,  _ don’t they? I might be doing drugs but that doesn’t mean I’m  _ stupid _ .” There was a hint of a bite in his words that Ben didn’t try and counter, simply nodding silently. 

The two continued in silence, the streetlights lighting up the path to the same alleyway that Isabelle had met them in earlier. The path seemed much longer at night, along with more menacing. If it was anyone else, Ben was sure they’d be much more scared at the prospect that there could be someone watching them, but knowing Klaus, he would probably take it as a compliment and chase away the culprit with the consequences of their own attention on him. 

Isabelle was waiting at the mouth of the alley, duffle bag still hung over her shoulder and familiar bundle in her arms. She looked anxious, and Klaus sped up to meet her as she strode forward, stopping under a streetlight that had been blinking on and off for the past couple of minutes. 

“Did you get here safely?” She questioned as Klaus came within earshot, the teenager nodding at the question. 

“Of course! I appreciate the concern. Is that the little lovebug?” Klaus asked, peering at the bundle once more to see a small tuft of hair peeking out the top. Isabelle nodded, a small smile curling at her lips at the mention of the nickname, though it was sadder than Klaus had wished it would be. 

“Yeah, he’s just sleeping. The bag has some baby food, a dozen or so changes of clothes, I didn’t really know how much to get him. Some of them fit for when he gets older, but I dunno by how much, I hope that’s okay. And some powdered formula, the type you have to add milk to and heat up and some cash, there’s some papers, too, the official ones that have you as his guardian, and-” Isabelle stopped to take a gasping breath, her hands shaking slightly as she had been speaking and voice picking up speed as she kept going. 

“Cool it a little, princess. It’s all cool! I promise I’ll take care of him, alright? You don’t need to worry,” Klaus reassured, a comforting smile on her face as she relaxed a little, nodding. 

“Yeah, okay. I know you will, I just- Scary,” She struggled to get out, Klaus nodding in sympathy. 

  
“I get it! It’s completely okay, don’t worry about it. You need another sec?” Isabelle seemed to steel herself before shaking her head. She handed over the duffle first, waiting for Klaus to secure it before handing over the baby gently, arms shaking a little.

“No, I’m okay. I’ve said my goodbyes already.” Klaus made a small noise of sympathy, nodding again. 

“Is there anything else?” Isabelle hesitated, chewing at her lip before speaking again. 

“I know it’s out of line, and I shouldn’t be asking, or even saying anything really, but- Do you think he can be, um. Benjamin? Benjamin Leonardo. He was one of my favourite poets, growing up. You don’t have to, I promise, I just-” 

“Huh,” Klaus laughed a little, a small mystified smile on his face. “Benjamin Leo Hargreeves. I like it.”

Ben couldn’t help the small smile that crept up his face.

**Author's Note:**

> here's the rewrite i promised! it's a bit sloppy, but i hope you'll like it! i also have about thirty percent more plot this time! i hope you enjoyed <3 tell me what you thought of this chapter compared to the other! i tried to slow it down a bit, since the pacing was a bit too fast for me before


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